It's a wonderful thing to have a high libido. The best way to stay active your whole life is to appreciate and keep adding fuel to this erotic fire within you.
The problem is, we are only feeding it kindling continually instead of putting a big hefty oak log on it and allowing massive coals and embers to build so you can stay up all night, warm with the lingering heat.
We’re missing out on something in our sexual lives–we don’t realize what that fire can be fanned into if we nourish it properly.
It can go places much deeper and longer-lasting than we’ve ever experienced before.
There are untapped levels of lovemaking available to you
As humans, we fall into habits of getting our fix–regardless of the drug. We know how to be satisfied, and we generally know how to get our fix one way or another. But, if we settle for a quickie most of the time, or fall into a predictable pattern for how our sexual needs are met, we may never experience the depth and artistry that our heart intuits is possible.
Frequent sex tends to be physically pleasurable, but less emotionally challenging. This leads to the question, why are you having sex?
This question has a lot of possible answers, but you need to know which ones matter to you before you can go further into this exploration. This is because, ultimately, sex can reveal who and what you are. It becomes a spiritual inquiry when you get into the depths of this question.
When you master sex, there’s a profound relaxation at the depth of your being that can allow your larger life purpose to reveal itself. It most likely exceeds having physical progeny as your legacy.
Most of us will find some sort of spiritual life purpose in our depths, which might include having family, but which is also connected to something deeper than you’ve contemplated in the past. Perhaps it’s something you know you’d really regret not having accomplished or gone after, or perhaps it’s the desire to overcome certain fears or insecurities.
Mastering sex usually accompanies men mastering a lot of their life goals.
Mastering sex and mastering other elements of your life often arrive hand in hand.
When you master sex, there’s a simultaneous deepening into authenticity and the ability to listen to the wisdom of your heart and body, which legitimately gives you more power.
People see that authenticity and they respond to it. It pays off in ways you could never imagine, in all aspects of your life.
Tapping into these deeper levels of your sexual being
Create experiences every year that exceed the hottest sex you’ve ever had.
There are endless possibilities of sexual experiences that can leave an indelible trace in your body, mind, and soul. Tap into your authentic sexual self and come up with surprises that you know will both tantalize and scare your partner a little bit.
Stop trying to perfom and instead focus on growing in your capacity in love and expand what you can conduct and transmit through your body.
As you move forward into this deep exploration of your sexual nature, sex moves from being solely a Me-thing to including an element of “We”, thus enabling a more direct experience of transcendent bliss in union with all that is.
Everyone is responsible for handling their own sexual urges.
With respect to the “Me” part of sex, we need to learn how to be turned on without making it something we put on anyone else. There has to be a way to conduct this energy within your own body.
Within the bounds of whatever agreements or relationships you have, you should be accountable for how you conduct your sexual energy, not just through actual sex acts, but in how you flirt and move through the world as well.
It’s also important that you don’t put demands on your partner—this makes sex a obligation and a chore. Sexual mastery requires learning what our own body is capable of. Most of your erotic potential is untapped, and the deeper you can go into pleasure on your own, the more you can invite your partner to play with you in these deeper waters.
On the flip side, as we move into the “We” part of sex, we find ourselves evolving together with our partners. We need to continue to explore and mix it up together. Variety isn’t the responsibility of just one partner. So work together to reveal new edges of erotic tension and desire. Notice how your partner responds to newness and variety. Praise each other’s changing tastes and desires. Ask dirty questions sometimes.
When you get those little private moments and you see something sexy in them, verbalize it. Connect it to the desire you’re feeling when you see your partner do something they’re not conscious of, but that turns you on.
You can create an erotic moment by simply giving voice to something you’ve been noticing, hungering for, appreciating, or wanting more of.
It’s bold to talk and play with improving how we can communicate these things; this communication is not just through words, but through our movements, how we dress, how we allocate time to having structured or unstructured moments with our partner, and how we make them a priority. This sets the entire stage for how you can go deeper.
Sex is more than just a physical act
When you go through this journey, you start to realize that sex really is more than just physical—it can be a time of total dissolution into love and rapturous ecstasy.
Sex can bathe every cell in your body with light, bliss, and life force. Sex takes many forms; it can be an ecstatic erotic dance, a practice of open-hearted communion and surrender to infinity, or a simple spasm of biological relief.
The mastery of being an artful lover is about learning how you can encourage, invite, set the stage for your lovers' ego dissolution, and show them the depth of love they are falling into.
So take the power of your innate sexual desire and capacity for love, and use them to enable you and your partner’s full spiritual awakening.
If you’re interested in trying this out yourself, but don’t know where to begin, I invite you to join me and my wife for our upcoming class, Creating a Tantric Consort Relationship: An 8-month Program for Couples. For more information, visit my webpage here:
https://sunyata.info/work-with-me/2022/creating-a-tantric-consort-relationship