If you hold the more masculine energy in your relationship, meaning you identify with consciousness and steadiness while your partner is more energetic, and changing, you’re probably going to have some heated exchanges.

It’s just the way sexual polarity works out.

I used to think this was something you had to suffer through, but I’ve discovered that part of what being in a long term relationship is about is becoming a polished mirror to reflect back when our partner isn’t being loving or when the depth of their consciousness isn’t being fully presented or seen. You can do this without blame or judgment.

My teacher David Deida said to me once, a while ago, “Anything your partner can say to collapse you is what they will say, as long as they can collapse you.” There’s a quality of testing in intimacy, that partners partake in.

Particularly if you have a more feminine partner who wants to wake you up, they instinctively see the potential of you being absolutely free and they want to get you there. Our habitual fights and patterns of tussling with each other come about for a variety of reasons.

I’d like to unpack some of the lessons I’ve learned in my own life that have shifted this, and have led to a lot of fun along the way. I’ve been peeling back layers of closure and limitations that I didn’t even know I was offering or presenting in my intimate relationships.